It’s been two years that these flowers have been mine. They were given to me by the same man that put a ring on my finger. Except it wasn’t the same man. I know that sounds confusing. Two years ago he and I both were very different people. We were both in a rough patch of our lives. And mostly, we were unhappy. Looking back on those times is always a bittersweet thought. I’m a very sentimental person so looking back is something that happens a lot. Maybe it’s because I need those reminders of how much things have changed.
I keep these flowers in our bathroom, in a place I see every single day. It’s a reminder for me to never accept to be treated as less than. That’s a lot for some silly halloween decorations to say, isn’t it? And maybe no one else will ever understand that. However, those are going to stay there and remind me. Remind me what it’s like to be valued by the people you have around you. And also, how absolutely romantic and silly my other half is.
He almost didn’t give them to me because he was worried I would think it was stupid. He didn’t know at the time that I have a rather large black and purple rose tattooed on my shoulder. He just saw them and thought I would like them. He thought that because he had paid attention to the conversations we had and what I seemed drawn to. At the time, that seemed so absolutely unbelievable to me. I was not used to someone actually paying attention to the trivial things about me. I had gotten so comfortable behind my walls. Walls like that are a funny thing because while you think that they are keeping you safe, all they really do is block your view of anything else. It’s easy to treat yourself terribly when you think that no one cares. It’s easy to think that no cares when you or your situation has blocked that view.
Two years since those silly flowers knocked out a brick in that wall. One crack in that wall that let me start to see how things really were in the world. Connection is the most powerful thing in the world. The connection that was made that night paved the way for us to change our entire lives. One of the ways I keep myself grounded and in the moment is these connections.
Two years down and forever to go with my other half.
In Progress 